"When we feel vulnerable and powerless in our lives, we frequently do one of two things: we gain weight or we weight ourselves down with too much stuff. Fat and stuff are both buffers against a world we perceive as threatening our well-being."
-- Regina Leeds
When I read Regina's opening words for this chapter, I felt both surprised and inspired. I have found that most organizational articles, and even books, that I have read seem to bypass the psychology behind the keeping of 'too much stuff' and go straight to the 'do this and don't do that' stage. To me, they seem to be implying: "Just be more like me, OK?" Well, it's just not as easy as all that.
As I mentioned last week, I had been feeling completely overwhelmed by my bedroom; it was very far indeed from being a sanctuary. In fact, whenever I walked through the door I felt a bit more like the poor, (temporarily) doomed Wile E. Coyote, looking up to see a big, black, grand piano hurtling toward him. So, it was quite a relief to even have a plan of action. Regina was going to lay out the plan and all I had to do was read it and follow it. Simple, eh?
The first week dwelt on thinking about my bedroom and what changes needed to be made. However, since there was so much work to do, I didn't want to wait any longer. What a nice feeling to have the motivation to succeed! I cleaned out all of my drawers in my two dressers which were jam-packed with clothing. I was ruthless in my decision-making and ended up with two bags of donations to Goodwill. Whew!
And now, this week was 'tackling my closet' week and I was keen to get at it, along with a healthy dose of trepidation. But where, oh where, to start? While many organizers suggest that you take every single item out of your closet first, then put back only what you really need and want, Regina takes a different approach. She says to tackle just one section at a time so that you won't become overwhelmed, and so the rest of your bedroom doesn't end up looking like a trash heap and sucking away all of your enthusiasm. I followed her advice and it worked like a charm.
Regina says, "Get to the bottom of the story that has made you hold onto this item of clothing. If you are still unsure, take a clinical look. Is it out of date, inexpensive, tattered, faded, worn, or stained? Let it go."
Well, the story of my closet revealed that I was hoarding way too many items that were far too small for me now, and every time I looked at them, even peripherally, I just felt fat. And that's not an inspiring feeling. Out they went. I also had quite a few items that I used to love, but they really didn't fit my current style. Out as well.
Some things were just plain nostalgia vessels, the best one being, as Mark calls it, 'my little green coat'. It is actually a long, zippered jacket, I guess, with a collar, made of fuzzy blanket-like cloth, and bright lime green in colour. It was given to me by a close friend about 18 years ago, at a time when my life was turbulent, to say the least. And in the years since then, it has been something of a 'Linus blanket' to me. Very, very comforting. I tried very hard to donate it to charity when I moved six years ago, but I couldn't make it happen. And, now, I was being faced with the same challenge. I took it off the hanger, folded it up, and put it in the bag for Goodwill. And then, awhile later, I took it back out again. Because of this struggle, I opted to re-read Regina's words.
"Some people....reason, albeit unconsciously, that if they hold onto the item, they will be capturing forever a piece of that time in their lives....They won't ever bring the past to life. It lives inside you in your heart and memories."
After reading this, I was inspired once more, and on more than one level. I was impressed that my current feelings about such a dreadful time seemed to focus, not so much on the events themselves, but by the loving kindness and friendship that enveloped me at that time. And I like that.
But the 'little green coat' itself is just a piece of fabric, like so many others. It is actually way too big for me and whenever I wear it, to be honest, I feel a strange mixture of comfort and obesity. Folding up this green coat and putting it into the Goodwill bag once and for all was a little sad - I won't lie. But it also felt very good.
Things are going pretty well for me now and I don't require so much comforting. But if I ever do, I know that seeing and talking with my dear friend will bring me much more comfort than a big, old, fuzzy jacket ever would. Regina was spot-on when she says that we must "understand how your attachment to clothes may be emotional." Absolutely right.
Working through some of these emotional attachments has been very revealing and very helpful to me. And now, as Regina says near the end of the chapter, I am ready to "Enjoy the freedom of empty space." She goes on to say, "Space isn't empty; it's full of energy. Consider also that all the good that is meant to come to you now has a place to reside."
And so, a word to all the good things in the universe that are out there, waiting to come to me: "I've made some room for you, so come on down!"
Cheers,
Diane
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