The Kitchen: The Heart of the Home

"If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life."

-- Louis Parrish




Near the beginning of this week's chapter, Regina Leeds says, "Everyone gathers in the kitchen. I think it's tribal instinct - our way of gathering around the campfire."

I have found this to be absolutely true in my life and I'll bet you have, too. When I think of all the family dinners I have either hosted or attended, my dominant memory is always of everyone either perched on stools at a counter or an island, in chairs around a table, or simply standing around in one of the various kitchens. Whether standing or sitting, they are always talking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company -- and generally with either a pint of beer or a glass of wine in hand.

I think Regina is spot-on when she refers to our in-born desire to gather 'around the campfire'. People are always keen to be watching food being prepared and cooked. And as the kitchen fills up with tantalizing aromas, bellies become eager with anticipation, and hearts become thoroughly comforted.

This chapter's continued focus is on the kitchen and it really is the perfect place to start. Regina asks, "What do you like about your kitchen?.....what do you dislike?"

Well, the first time I saw my kitchen, while shopping for a house, I was immediately impressed by the tall (10 foot!) ceilings and the full wall of cupboards - stretching right from the counter to the ceiling. Wow! I thought about how everything could be so easily stored there and that was a nice feeling. That is, until I moved in.

As we began to unpack, I realized that our plates would not fit into any of the cupboards. It seemed impossible and we tried every which way, but it could not be done. Apparently we now have considerably larger dinner plates than the original owners back in 1895! And so, the day I moved in, I had to drive to the mall and purchase a cabinet to store our dishes. It turned out fine, actually, as the cupboard fits in very well and I like the look. As a bonus, our microwave oven fits onto it's shelf nicely and eliminates the need for it to vie for space on the counter.

Another problem occurred to us about the same time. How on earth could we use the top cupboards? No easy answer to this one except this: don't. Of course, this means the lower (and accessible) cupboards can easily become too jam-packed.

Before I started on this project, I had an open bookcase in my kitchen which held all of my cookbooks. (I love cookbooks!) I liked having my books visible and right at hand, but the problem was that they became dusty over time and and, in fact, the whole unit had taken on a very dishevelled appearance.

When I took some time to really think about what I liked about my kitchen and what I didn't, I became suddenly aware of how much my lovely cookbooks really annoyed me. That's right. Regina, the "Zen Organizer" knows what she is talking about. I realized that every time I was in my kitchen, as my eyes fell on the bookcase I would experience a very jarring, very 'un-Zen' feeling. It was too much to look at! Regina suggests ruthlessly tossing out everything that is unneeded or unloved. But these books could not be shown the door because, a) they were often used, and b) I was very fond of looking through cookbooks and also using them.

In the end, I went through all of my cookbooks and chucked the ones that I never used and only kept the ones I felt were important to keep. I then cleaned out the bottom of the dish cabinet and placed the books in there. I took the open-shelved bookcase and moved it into the back hallway and put the family's extra shoes onto the shelves. (Being a centenarian home, you can imagine the tiny size of our closets!) Next, I washed out the closed cupboard that had once housed the shoes, and moved it into the kitchen. And then I took the packaged and canned foods, herb and spice jars, and cereal and put them into the closed cupboard. Et voila! Instant pantry.

Everything is much more functional and it looks much neater, as well. And it's easier to keep clean. I am really surprised at how well we are all doing with keeping the kitchen clean. It really does make a difference to keep the dishes washed, dried, and put away - immediately! The counters have got to stay clean, and the surface of the island uncluttered. It really is making a difference in our thinking and in our habits.

Yesterday, Mark and I spent the day in Michigan shopping for various household items and for groceries. It had been a long (but fun) day and it was just a little after 10 o'clock when we arrived home. In the days before this challenge, I know I would have felt tired and would have just put away the food that needed to be refrigerated and just left the other items until the next day. It would just have seemed like too much work to go ahead and deal with everything we had brought home with us.

But last night was different. Coming home to a tidy home was definitely a wonderful feeling and I didn't want anything to spoil that. As soon as we carried the bags in, we began to quickly sort everything and put it away. Everything! And do you know what? We had everything put in its place and the kitchen was back to tidy again by 10:30!!

My biggest surprise during this challenge has got to be the knowledge that it really takes only minutes - sometimes just mere seconds! - to put things right where they belong instead of to some 'half-way house'. And the reward for doing this is great. I feel so much more relaxed and happy at home. It's just more fun to be here.

As week three ends, I am delighted in my progress at organizing my kitchen. And I truly hope it will continue to help me as I continue to try to organize my life.

Cheers!!

Diane

Too Much Stuff!

"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff."

-- George Carlin





I recently switched home insurance providers and was told that they would be sending a representative over next week to check out my house. Yikes! While we have been getting better at keeping the main floor tidy, the basement had unfortunately become less a living/storing facility and more of a half-way house for stuff that was on its way out.

So, this weekend was spent very productively with my partner, Mark, my teenage son, Daniel, and me tackling the basement. (More on this during 'Basement Month'.) I had intended to wait until that month rolled around, but the impending home inspection suddenly made the basement a top priority.

Perhaps you've faced a similar situation. Things get way out of hand and then keep on getting worse. Then, when you should feel inspired to jump right in and put things in order, instead inertia descends upon you and you feel way too overwhelmed to do anything at all. I can't tell you how often this has happened to me.

As I looked around at the chaos, I felt both embarrassed and sad to see such clutter. I didn't know how or where to begin. The clutter situation in the basement had been exacerbated because my elder daughter, Abby, has been storing all of her belongings there. She has been moving around a lot and hasn't been able to drag around the incredible mass of possessions she has collected.

I laughed out loud when I came upon a nicely taped up cardboard box with the very neatly printed label: 'Things I neither want nor need.' HA! How hilarious is that? I laughed and laughed until I suddenly had an epiphany. It was incredible. I realized that my basement was packed with a seemingly endless number of items that would match that category exactly. I simply hadn't been as honest with myself as Abby had been.

In Chapter Two, one of the things Regina stresses is that you should identify time wasters in your daily life. And she also stresses the vast importance of having everything in its place. "Whatever is used must be returned to the spot where it came from. This rule will maintain the environment."

Since I started this blogging project, I have given a lot of thought to where my problem areas are and I could pinpoint a couple of trouble spots. I realized that I often procrastinated in doing laundry in the basement because just going down there made me feel depressed and inadequate. The very opposite of a Zen feeling! I also knew that I wasted so much time every day simply putting things back where they belonged.

The more conscious of my habits I became, the more I began to see how often I put things 'almost' in the right place, but not exactly. Sometimes it would take three or four attempts to get the item back in its home. Here is a recent example: I went shopping and bought some shampoo and conditioner, some toothpaste, some soap, and some other hair products. I carried the bag from the car to the house and set it down by the front door. After I had put the groceries away, I went back, picked up the bag, and carried it into the kitchen. A little later I put the bag on the island and took the items out of the bag. Awhile after that I moved all of the products to the other end of the island - just a little closer to the bathroom. Sometime after that I finally picked them up, took them into the bathroom, and put them away. What a waste of time, energy, and thought processes!

I'm finding that making small changes really does make a big difference. For instance, in Week One, Regina suggests starting with the kitchen: never let dishes accumulate, always wash them, dry them, and put them away, then wipe down the counter. We have all been rigidly adhering to this suggestion and it has been extremely helpful, especially on weekends. It seems that just allowing a small mess to start in the kitchen has far-reaching effects on the rest of the house.

Regina is a big believer in using calendars and I am in full agreement. For many, many years I have written all kinds of things in calendars and I can't even imagine not relying on one. As I write this, a funny memory from the past comes to mind. When my elder son, Ben, was a young teen, we came to the city for his medical appointment. At the end of it, the secretary smiled warmly at Ben and said that the doctor wanted to see him again in a year's time, then she went on to mention a specific date and time. She then reached for an appointment card to write this down, but it seems that Ben wasn't watching very closely. He just grinned back with a slightly confused look, then replied, "Well, OK. But I have to tell you that there isn't a chance in the world I will remember that!"

I have been greatly encouraged by reading, "One Year to an Organized Life". I realize that I am doing some things right and that all is not hopeless. I am finding that Regina's cardinal (and simple) organization motto 'eliminate, categorize, organize' is sage advice indeed. I kept this in mind when we began to sort out the basement yesterday.

Whenever I had previously thought of starting such a project, it always seemed an impossible task. And even if I could somehow prod myself into action, I believed it would be an endless 'sentence'. But I found just keeping this 'mantra' in mind made the job easier by far.

It is impossible to organize a space when there is just too much stuff in it! But by first getting rid of everything that is clearly useless, broken, or unneeded and then simply placing like items together, I found that I could accomplish a lot without ever unduly taxing my brain. This way, when the time came to actually do some organizing, I had energy left to be able to think clearly and make quick decisions.

Regina says, "Make organizing something fun and rewarding." Well, we have certainly found that to be true this weekend. Mark, Daniel, and I actually had a really fun time together working on this project. We were a great team. We worked hard but also took time to talk and laugh a bit over some old photos and memorabilia. Daniel is thrilled that he now has a comfy, inviting space to 'hang out' - reading, using his laptop, and playing guitar. And I'm thrilled that in only one weekend we were able to create this together.

A big bonus is that we will all carry this feeling of accomplishment into the week ahead. As the weekend winds down, I feel so much lighter and less burdened than I did just a few days ago.

With my apologies to the great George Carlin, I have to say: Life is so much easier when you have LESS STUFF!!

Cheers,


Diane


Note: 'One Year to an Organized Life' by Regina Leeds can be easily purchased using the link to Amazon on the top right of this blog.

"Why Am I Like This?"

Month One (January/April)
Week One

"People allow life to happen to them rather than giving it direction."

"The bottom line is that once you understand what you want to accomplish, you will automatically use time to help you succeed. You will be moving forward. And you will end up exactly where you are most needed, wanted, and appreciated."

-- Regina Leeds (January - Week One)


"Why am I like this?" Great question! It has been hovering over my head for approximately my whole life but I had never really come up with a good answer. It really is the perfect starting point as it doesn't make much sense to attempt to go forward without at least trying to get a grip on why I am in the spot I am.

I had been wondering whether to begin reading "One Year to an Organized Life" by starting with the month of April since that is where I am now, or with January as that is where the book (logically) begins. Regina says it doesn't really matter so I decided to simply go with my intuition. And when I opened the book to January:Week One and read the title, "Why Am I like This?" I knew I had my answer.

Regina asks: "Think back to your home of origin...What specific memories do you have regarding time?" She suggests keeping a journal so I got out my notebook and began to write. I wasn't sure what to say about time, exactly, so I started writing about general memories of childhood and how they could have shaped my organizational habits. It turned out to be very revealing.

My father was very methodical and orderly. He always looked neat and tidy. He worked hard and accomplished a lot and also made the time to do fun things with his five kids. He maintained our property very well: kept the grass trimmed and tidy, pruned the cherry trees, and planted and tended a vegetable garden every year. He also had excellent control over the family's finances and was the only breadwinner. The gas tank in the car was never lower than half full and one of his favourite sayings was, "The best cure for ulcers is money in the bank."

When I was a child my mother didn't work outside the home so she was the main caregiver for her five children. She was also responsible for all of the housework, laundry, shopping, and cooking. Because she didn't have an income of her own and Dad controlled the money, I expect that was a very trying situation for her. As well, she never learned to drive so was dependent on Dad to drive her anywhere she wanted to go. For all these reasons, she wasn't able to go out to do any fun things with the kids, or for that matter, for herself either. Not much wonder she often seemed anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed.

I can remember always feeling very proud of my father and his extremely practical ways. But I realize now that I was also an 'intuitive empath' (Dr. Judith Orloff - http://www.drjudithorloff.com/) and was more strongly influenced by the feelings I sensed in my mother.

So it seems that although I dearly loved and appreciated both of my parents, I think my empathic connection to my mother drew me to replicating some of her organizational patterns even though I perceived them as negative, and to push against some of my father's behaviours even though I perceived them as positive.

As I continued to write, I recognized that 20 years of an unhappy marriage, along with raising four children, repeated so many of the negative feelings I experienced as a child: lots of anxiety, poor self-esteem, and the weight of constantly feeling overwhelmed.

However, as the saying goes, "That was then. This is now." My parents have long ago crossed over, bless them both. And I have been (blissfully) unmarried for more than a decade and a half. It is very interesting and helpful to begin to cast some understanding on why I have created certain habits, patterns, and behaviours in my life. But this is only the beginning.

At the end of the January:Week One chapter, Regina Leeds says, "Until you take action, your dreams stay in the world of fantasy...you can change your life with the tool of organization."

To paraphrase one of the Olympic mottos, all I can say is this: Let the change begin!


Cheers!


Diane

Spring is Here! With a Sunny New Beginning

"If you don't complete the mundane tasks in life, you probably aren't completing the bigger ones either."

-- Regina Leeds

in the Introduction to "One Year to an Organized Life"



"Your home is not your castle; it's your prison. Guilt is your frequent companion. You want your life experience to be bigger, richer, but it seems to be forever diminished by an endless series of dramas, all of which have a lack of organization as their source." *

As I read these words I felt as though Regina Leeds had somehow been able to peer into my life and I knew she was spot-on. Every New Year's for as long as I can remember I have had two primary resolutions: lose weight and become organized. In truth, some lucky years I have had the wonderful experience of feeling slender enough to be satisfied but, unfortunately, that sense of satisfaction has never carried over to my organizational skills.

In childhood I received mixed messages regarding such skills from two very differing parents. What I do remember is my level of discomfort and anxiety as well as low self esteem which developed in part because of the disorganized and untidy environment of our home. Mind you, my parents worked hard and lovingly raised five children, so I will cut them some slack.

What I have never been able to fully understand, however, is exactly how my four siblings (3 sisters and 1 brother) have turned out to be outstandingly neat, tidy, and extremely organized adults whereas, sadly, I have not.

Mind you, I neither live in squalor or complete chaos, nor do I yearn for the perfection of a 'magazine home'. I think I'm probably a pretty run-of-the-mill disorganized person. Some areas I tend to manage better than others. And I have to say that over the past year I have made considerable improvements in my home and I'm very happy with this (long awaited) progress.

However, it seemed to me that I was still standing outside and looking in at others who appear to effortlessly achieve a state of organization that seemed absolutely out of reach for me. What was wrong with me? What was I lacking? I had a sinking feeling that these admirable others had secretly been given a secret manual and I had not.

And then one day last fall I happened to read a review of Regina Leed's book, "One Year to an Organized Life". The review was very glowing indeed and it certainly piqued my interest. Now, I have read quite a few books on organizing in the past but little had ever changed. It was a bit like reading diet books and expecting to lose weight because of it. (Trust me, that doesn't work either.) I really felt that this sort of format -- breaking everything down into monthly topics and breaking every month's topic down into weekly tasks -- would be very practical, challenging, and kind of fun to follow. I went straight to my laptop, Googled 'Amazon', and ordered the book.

I had intended to begin January 1st but as you can see, that didn't happen. What with one thing and another this project just got stuffed into the back of the closet like so many other well-intentioned projects before it. But last month I suddenly remembered the book and felt really compelled to actually follow it. It felt SO important to me. But how on earth would I be able to follow through? Well, I had just recently re-watched "Julie and Julia" which I found very inspiring, and the thought suddenly struck me to go through the book and write a blog about my progress. It was a very exciting thought!

But since I was planning to write a blog based on "One Year to an Organized Life", I felt it was only right to write to the author, Regina Leeds, and ask her permission. I can't tell you how surprised, delighted, and thrilled I felt when I received her very positive and encouraging response. She even went so far as to suggest that perhaps from time to time she could comment or make suggestions if I were having difficulty and in that way, no doubt many readers could be helped through similar problems. Wonderful!

As Regina says, "The chaos around you is an effect...Over the course of the next year, we are going to set new causes into motion -- the kind that yield positive results. Instead of living in an environment that is your adversary, you will live in a space that nurtures and supports you at every step of your journey."

And as Confucius said so long ago and far away, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." I hope you will join me on my journey as I learn how to create an organized life with the help of Regina Leeds. As I write these words, I am deliberately and determinedly taking the first step.


Cheers!

Diane



* All quotations in this posting were from the "Introduction" to "One Year to an Organized Life" by Regina Leeds (Lifelong Books: www.dacapopress.com)